Let’s talk relationships. Not the ones you have with family or friends, but the ones that drive your sales success.
Whether we’re talking personal or professional, the healthiest and most satisfying connections are mutual, balanced, and beneficial for both parties. And the dynamic between you (the sales pro) and your customer? Same rules apply.
Here’s the catch: This relationship is always in motion, either pulling you closer to your customer or pushing you further away. The goal? Reaching the Preferred Position, where you’ve earned as much of your customer’s business as you want. Sounds dreamy, right? But how do you get there?
Hint: It’s all about turning dependency into interdependence.
Two Types of Relationships: Which One Are You In?
Before we map out the path to interdependence, it’s important to understand where you’re starting. Relationships with customers typically fall into two categories:
1. Dependency Relationships (aka the Subordinate Zone)

Picture this: one party has all the power, while the other is left scrambling to keep up. In these relationships, there’s a lot of ordering, controlling, and, let’s face it, frustration. Sound familiar?
Here’s why this dynamic doesn’t work in sales: If you’re stuck in the subordinate position, you’ll struggle to add value, let alone guide the relationship toward mutual benefit. Over time, this setup breeds tension, dissatisfaction, and maybe even a few passive-aggressive emails. Yikes.
2. Interdependency Relationships (aka the Equality Zone)

Now, this is the sweet spot. Interdependent relationships are all about balance, collaboration, and mutual respect. They thrive on trust and openness, making space for real conversations and meaningful problem-solving.
When you’re in an interdependent relationship, both you and your customer feel a sense of ownership and investment. This dynamic doesn’t just lead to better sales—it creates lasting partnerships.
Breaking Free from Dependency
Here’s the good news: If your relationship with a customer feels stuck in dependency mode, you don’t have to stay there. But shifting to interdependence isn’t a passive process—it requires intention and effort.
Start by asking yourself:
- Am I letting my customer dictate every aspect of our interactions?
- Do I have the confidence to lead this relationship toward a more balanced dynamic?
Your answers will point you in the right direction. Because here’s the deal: It’s up to you to take the lead and build a healthier, more profitable connection.
The Road to Interdependence: Pro Tips for Sales Pros
Ready to transform your customer relationships? Here are some actionable strategies to help you make the leap:
1. Listen Like a Pro
Active listening isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s your superpower. Show your customer that you’re tuned in to their needs and concerns. (Check out LAER: The Bonding Process® for some expert advice in this area.)
2. Be a Person of Your Word
Trust is non-negotiable in interdependent relationships. Keep your promises, always.
3. Add Value Every Step of the Way
Whether it’s an email, a phone call, or an in-person meeting, bring something valuable to the table. Think insights, tailored advice, or even just a fresh perspective.
4. Personalize Your Approach
Generic pitches? Not here. Tailor your communication to each customer’s unique challenges and goals.
5. Be Proactive, Not Reactive
Don’t wait for your customers to come to you. Anticipate their needs and reach out with solutions before they even realize they need them.
6. Go Beyond the Sale
Closing the deal isn’t the finish line—it’s just the beginning. Keep delivering value long after the ink is dry.
7. Practice Social Selling
Show up where your customers are—whether that’s LinkedIn, Instagram, or somewhere else. Build connections online and make yourself a trusted resource.
8. Exceed Expectations
Meeting expectations is fine. Exceeding them? That’s how you stand out.
Believe in Yourself—and Your Product
Here’s the bottom line: Interdependence starts with belief. Belief in your product, program, or service. Belief in your ability to make a difference for your customers. And belief that you deserve to take a seat at the table—not just as a salesperson, but as a trusted advisor.
When you combine that belief with the right behaviors—like listening, personalizing, and delivering value—you’ll start building relationships that last. And those relationships? They’ll take your sales game to the next level.
So, what’s your next move? Take a moment to reflect on your current customer relationships. Where are you winning, and where do you have room to grow? Commit to making the changes that will move you toward interdependence. Because when you do, the payoff is huge—for you and your customers.
How Do You Build Strong Customer Relationships? Join the Conversation on LinkedIn
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