Let’s talk relationships. Not the family-and-friends kind, but the ones that drive your sales success.

The truth is, customer relationships are always in motion – either pulling you closer to becoming a trusted partner or pushing you further into the role of a vendor.

The ultimate goal? Reaching the Preferred Position – where you’ve earned as much of your customer’s business as you want.

How do you get there? By moving from dependency to interdependency.

Two Types of Customer Relationships

1. Dependency (Subordinate)

Think…

• Teacher – Student
• Parent – Child
• Warden – Prisoner

In this dynamic, one side has all the power. The customer dictates every move, and the rep is left chasing. It often leads to frustration, price-driven conversations, and very little real value creation.

2. Interdependency (Equality)

Think…

• Life partners
• Colleagues
• Friendships

This is the sweet spot. Interdependent relationships are balanced, built on trust, and rooted in collaboration. Both parties have influence and both contribute to the success of the relationship.

When you achieve interdependency, you move closer to Preferred Position – where your credibility, insights, and partnership set you apart from competitors.

How to Shift the Relationship

Moving from dependency to interdependency doesn’t happen by accident. It requires intention, confidence, and consistent behaviors. Here’s how to get there:

• Lead the way – Don’t just take orders. Bring insights and guide the conversation with a consultative approach.
• Listen like it matters – Go beyond surface-level needs. Uncover goals, frustrations, and the “why” behind what they want.
• Be a person of your word – Trust is built through reliability. Deliver on promises and follow through.
• Personalize your approach – Ditch the generic pitch. Tailor your communication and solutions to their world.
• Add value every step – Whether it’s a meeting, email, or check-in, leave them with something useful.
• Go beyond the sale – Show up after the ink is dry with proactive support and fresh ideas.
• Exceed expectations – Meeting the standard is fine. Exceeding it is how you stand out.

Bonus: 3 Ways to Deepen the Connection

1. Share what matters
   Go beyond pitching your solution. Share industry trends, competitive insights, or leadership content. Add context—why it matters and how it could impact their business.
   
2. Stay curious
   Be a lifelong learner. The more you know about their industry and challenges, the more relevant and credible your conversations become.
   
3. Listen more than you talk
   The best sales relationships mirror the best personal ones – built on two-way dialogue. Genuine curiosity builds trust faster than any polished pitch.

The Payoff of Interdependency

When you move your customer relationships into interdependency, you’ll notice:

• Clients buy more often and stay longer.
• Referrals become more frequent.
• You feel less like “just another salesperson” and more like a trusted advisor.

The takeaway? Dependency keeps you stuck. Interdependency creates loyalty, trust, and long-term success.

So ask yourself: where do your current relationships fall, and what can you do today to move them closer to interdependency?